Show Me the Money…Now? American Attitudes on Lifetime Giving

About 2 in 3 adults feel asking for an early inheritance is inappropriate, but many older people are open to lifetime giving.
Taylor Shuman Taylor Shuman Senior Tech Expert & Editor

The typical American works most of their life to save for a comfortable retirement. Some amass more than they need, then nurture nest eggs until death. People over 60 currently control more than 60 percent of the country’s wealth as younger generations face financial strain.

Could lifetime giving, or early inheritance, be an answer to bridging this economic divide?

With lifetime gifts, parents can give money or property to their children while still alive instead of waiting until after death. This can help children when they need it most, and parents can see the positive impact of their gifts. It can also reduce taxes on the parent's estate. However, many people understandably feel uncomfortable with the idea of asking for an early inheritance.

To crack the code on this unique estate planning strategy, SeniorLiving.org surveyed more than 2,400 potential benefactors and heirs. We also consulted several financial experts for practical insights regarding the practice of lifetime giving.

Key Findings:

  • 64% of Americans believe it's inappropriate to ask parents for an early inheritance, and 4% of adults have done this.
  • More than one in four people would consider asking their parents for a lifetime gift so they could buy a home.
  • 76% of parents with assets would consider giving their adult children an early inheritance, but only 8% of older adults have done this.
  • 25% of parents would consider granting an early inheritance to reap a tax benefit.
  • Over one-third of parents believed early gifting could harm relationships with their children, but the majority of those who’ve given assets early had no regrets.

How Many People Have Asked for an Early Inheritance?

Inheritances are traditionally given only after death — but is this the only option people have when planning their estates? For families with ample assets, spreading that wealth sooner could present a more practical and enjoyable path. However, without careful planning and advice from financial experts, giving away too much could cause money problems later or create tension within the family.

Lifetime gifts can help struggling young adults or provide them with a financial head start while their older parents enjoy the benefits of generosity. Despite these advantages, only eight percent of people with adult children have engaged in lifetime giving.

Early Inheritance Percentages

Many people don't talk about giving money to their children early because money discussions are often considered taboo. Death and taxes may be inevitable for everyone, yet many avoid them in conversation. The reluctance to talk about money openly is one reason why the practice of early inheritance isn't more common.

Early Inheritance How appropriate is it for someone to ask for early inheritance

According to our research, two-thirds of adults believed discussing early inheritance was inappropriate, and only one in seven adults felt it was okay for children to ask their parents about it. Some of the respondents in our study told us they considered asking for early inheritances as “petty,” “disrespectful,” and “selfish,” reminiscent of the biblical prodigal son. This perception was broadly consistent across generations. Acceptance was slightly higher among older Americans, suggesting that younger adults could be more comfortable raising the question with elderly parents.

Such reticence to discuss the subject may prevent outcomes that would satisfy all. We found that many adult children could use early inheritances, and many parents would be willing to provide them. Unfortunately, most families never even discuss estate finances. Though 84 percent of adults in our study had living parents, most have never directly discussed their parents’ estates or assets.

Early Inheritance Article Percentage of adults who have asked about assets

Indeed, less than half were sure their parents had wills in place. Even among the two-thirds of adults expecting an inheritance, very few had consulted financial professionals or knew how much they might receive from their parents’ estates. This lack of communication doesn’t reflect a lack of need or desire for financial assistance. Among people who think they will receive an inheritance someday, 63 percent would ask their parents for inheritance money early under certain circumstances.

Early Inheritance Article What reasons would lead you to ask for early inheritance

Only four percent of adults we talked to had directly asked their parents to transfer some of their wealth before departing. Some actually received assets from their parents while they were still alive, which they most commonly used to pay off debts or buy new homes. However, others bought vehicles or splurged on vacations.

Most Older Parents Are Open to the Idea of Lifetime Giving

Just as raising a child is more complicated than being one, early inheritance is a more complex conundrum for parents than for their progeny.

Beyond basic decisions on divvying assets, several practical and psychological factors influence attitudes about lifetime gifting. They need to ensure they'll have enough money for themselves, worry about how gifts might affect their relationships with their children, consider whether giving to one child might cause jealousy among siblings, and understand how these gifts might affect their taxes and estate.

About 70 percent of parents anticipate leaving an inheritance to their children upon their death. As many as three in four potential benefactors would be willing to consider early inheritance under the right circumstances.

Early Inheritance Article Would you consider giving early inheritance to children

Early Inheritance Article What would influence decision to give early inheritance

A child’s financial need would most influence a parent’s decision about early inheritance, followed by personal health concerns, tax benefits, and the effects on family harmony.

Several of these factors could influence decisions either way. For example, tax burdens might increase or decrease depending on the structure of lifetime gifting. Similarly, family harmony could strengthen or fracture based on the equity of distributed assets.

From the Experts: Risks and Benefits of Lifetime Giving

Regardless of timing, the inheritance process often raises filial and financial challenges. Distribution decisions can unite or divide families and affect estate values. Early inheritance allows benefactors to address these complexities before the giver passes but also risks deepening divisions or debt during one’s golden years.

Early Inheritance Article Risk and Benefits

There’s no single approach suited for all families – every situation and estate is unique. Anyone considering early inheritance should consult certified financial planners to assess optimal approaches. SeniorLiving.org asked several financial experts to help outline an approach for determining inheritance strategies. Generally, the consultants concurred that estate planning involves very personal decisions and requires detailed thought, professional input, and open family dialogue to achieve intended goals without unintended consequences.

Specifically, they suggested the following steps when contemplating early inheritance:

1. Carefully assess personal finances

Before considering early inheritance, parents must confirm they can afford the gifts and determine whether they’ll need to alter their finances or standard of living. Currently, most Americans don't have enough for retirement and are in no position to give wealth away. We found that only seven percent of parents planning to transfer wealth have adjusted their finances to accommodate an early inheritance.

Shaina Jones Magrone, an estate planning attorney, stresses the need for assurances before benefactors make significant lifetime gifts. “Givers must remain cognizant that lifetime gifting removes the assets from their control. Consideration, therefore, must be given to whether the giver can safely afford to part with the assets while maintaining their current lifestyle, ability to retire, and account for emergencies and contingencies,” said Jones Magrone.

2. Have open family conversations

Our research showed that many families avoid discussing inheritance and estate matters, yet open communication is non-negotiable for anyone considering asking for or giving a lifetime gift. Open discussion helps parents allocate assets effectively, manage expectations, explain unequal distributions, and prevent family conflicts and legal disputes.

Communication can enhance the personal impact of gifts, but these discussions are difficult. “Conversations about family wealth don’t come naturally and aren’t usually easy. Too often, patterns of avoidance and silence are deeply embedded and have been reinforced over many years or even generations,” said estate planning attorney Kevin Quinn.

3. Consult with financial professionals

Three-quarters of parents with assets are open to early inheritance, yet only nine percent have consulted with a professional about making a lifetime gift. Given the importance of the matter and the complex tax rules and inheritance laws layered between local, state, and federal governments, individuals should always seek professional guidance when restructuring estate plans.

Though lifetime giving can be beneficial in some cases, it can also have costly consequences. “Estate planning involves various nuances that could create serious financial issues,” said Howard Enders, chief operating officer of The Estate Registry. “Tax laws limit family gifts, and transferring wealth without the right approach can trigger other unnecessary tax burdens.”

Pro Tip:

Pro Tip: Use our free estate tax calculator to estimate how much money you’ll need to pay in federal taxes.

4. Document decisions and create a will

After working with a financial professional, early inheritance plans should be committed to writing to avoid ambiguity or legal challenges. As part of this process, standing wills should be amended as necessary, and revised testaments should address the eventual disposition of remaining assets.

Our survey found that few older adults have made any provisions for their estates. Although 70 percent of people anticipate leaving an inheritance to their children, nearly 60 percent haven’t yet created a will.

Devising an effective early inheritance plan requires soul-searching, number-crunching, honest discussions, professional assistance, and legal documents, but it could be worth the effort for certain families. Among parents who have already provided lifetime gifts to their children, 93 percent reported no regrets.

Methodology

In November 2024, SeniorLiving.org conducted an online poll of 2456 American adults regarding their estate planning and their family's plans to pass on an inheritance. The respondent pool was divided between 48% men and 51% women, with 1% declining to disclose their gender. Their ages ranged from 18 to 90, with the median age being 47. Sixty-four percent of participants were white, twelve percent were Black, eighteen percent were of multiple ethnicities, six percent were Asian, and about one percent preferred not to answer.

Participants were first asked whether they had children aged 18+. If they were parents of this age group, they were asked about their plans to leave an inheritance to their children. The remaining participants were asked if their own parents were still alive and what their expected inheritance from their families was. 1002 participants completed the parents' portion, and 1,454 participants completed the children's portion of the survey.